Life for me and my husband had become unbearable especially as we had a 10 year old grandson to consider.
My daughter was a loving and caring person with her own family. But this changed when a new group of friends introduced her to drugs. She became aggressive and abusive with me and dismissive of her son’s needs. Eventually, she left her son and partner to live elsewhere.
My daughter would turn up occasionally to sleep for a few days, yell at me and then leave again. Each time she came back I offered to help her by taking her to a counsellor. She ignored me and I often cried for days.
Eventually a friend encouraged me to join the Parent’s Program at Holyoake. During one of the group sessions, I realised my stress was due to the sadness at losing the relationship with my daughter. Another session focused on setting boundaries. So the next time my daughter turned up, I set some conditions under which she could stay. She didn’t like this and left again, but I felt empowered and stronger.
I completed the Parent’s Program, and learnt more about myself and ways to cope with my situation. I stopped feeling so guilty when I realised that her behaviour was her choice.
After several weeks of no contact, my daughter came home and asked for forgiveness, for help to get her life together, and to see her son. She has now worked things out with her ex-partner and they are together again. She is parenting her son the way she should, and is re-building her relationship with me.
Things are better now. Holyoake helped me understand myself and taught me coping skills which helped turn all our lives around. If you are a parent experiencing similar issues, please give the Parent’s Program a go.
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